I can only describe it as a moment akin to standing up after a long period of  sitting. Your legs are numb but you force yourself to walk forward because there is no other way, you have to get to the next destination. So you deal with the uncomfortable numb knowing all too well that eventually it will wear off. You know, but it’s going to take some time and that is discouraging, frustrating. You know that if you were to sit back down you would only postpone the odd feeling so you know nothing else to do but push forward; push through that uncomfortable numb, that weird displaced feeling where your legs feel like a foreign object that your body has little to no control over, you just have to walk it off. I’m just trying to walk it off.

Like a softly painted garden by Monet. Like a kodachrome picture of the sun-beat ocean.

I want them both.

I just want something. I just want something. I just want something steady.